


Too Much Space, Too Much Time.

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Autism, F/M, Sensory Overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 18:04:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6967951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara finds her doctor in the midst of an outburst. She manages to calm him down with good, old fashioned, attention grabbing kids songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much Space, Too Much Time.

He knew logically it was... Different. He even knew what it was called. Doesn't mean he had to tell everyone. In fact, he hadn't told anyone in a while.

He had told his granddaughter, long ago. He had told a few others, but not many. Then, when he came back wanting to feel leather on his skin, he realized they manifested in anger. His outbursts, that is.

When he came back with longer hair, and a bounce in his step, it was too much all at once. He always felt bouncy, giddy, and Rose, Rose, Rose, he had to tell Rose. There were bad days, but mostly just excitement.

He had told Donna too, after that, in the heat of an argument about odd behavior. Rory was next, witnessing a fit, and running to get Amy to help hold his arms down as he scratched his face. That one had been a hard day.

It was an odd feeling to have a new body again, it always was. However, there was one thing that never seemed to change; his brain, his outbursts, however much he hoped for them to go away.

There was always that tickle in the back of his contiousness, always that thing, that he had to tell people about at some point. If he didn't they might decide he was too much, they might want to leave. It wouldn't be the worst thing to happen.

Clara though, he hadn't even thought to tell her. His impossible girl, his beautiful girl, his mystery. No, he hadn't wanted to tell her. Not until now.

Now, as he sat on the edge of the floor area, swinging his legs. Now, as he felt his hands become cold and shaky. Now, as he felt his jaw clench and his breath pick up. Now, as he felt the restlessness settle over him.

"Very wrong, somethings wrong." He mumbled.

The Doctor slid off the floor level and dropped down to underneath. He took off his coat, and ran over to his clothing hatch under the console. He found what he was looking for immediately, probably thanks to the tardis interfering.

He stroked the cloth lovingly, but decided against putting on the whole outfit. Too many memories. Instead, he stripped his clothes until he was down to the pants and shirt, and he hooked in the red suspenders.

Yes, that was nice. It was tight, and close to his skin, and against his back too. Yes, it was a good feeling. He definitely felt better.

He walked back to the front and took over the controls, moving them to a remote spot, and opening the door. There was a sun outside, and it warmed his skin, underneath his shirt that is. The shield made it dimmer, enough that he could stare as long as he wanted.

"Doctor? What are you doing?" Clara asked.

Just like that it took over again. His fingers curled into his palms, making painful fists. His stomach flipped and gurgled unpleasantly. He knew it wasn't her fault, but it didn't stop him from scowling.

Clara backed up when he didn't answer. After their recent run in with mimick creatures, it was smart of her to be cautious. They were tiny in their pure form, harmless. They couldn't even speak in taken form, save for little squeaks.

It would be easy for one to get inside while she slept. In fact, they had found several after leaving, and had to take them home. They were only maybe the size of mice, and looked like bugs. Little bugs, that looked like they smiled at you, with their bright, bright blue, bug eyes.

What was he thinking about again? Clara. She was getting closer, but she was being slow. Step, step, step. She was wearing bedroom slippers.

"Doctor, that you?" Clara asked.

The Doctor knew he had to answer her, but his breath caught in his throat. He cursed his luck, and and bit his lip, trying to think of a way to talk to her. Without his permission, his fingers started tapping on the floor.

"Doctor?"

He felt his face heat up with frustration when a whine dragged out of his throat. He reached close and snapped his suspenders, relishing the little sting. He swung his legs a little faster.

"It's ok... It's ok little guy. Are you lost? We'll get you home." Clara said quietly. She came up behind him and leaned down, going to rub his back. He leaned away quickly.

"You alright? You hurt?" She asked quickly. He looked up and she frowned. His human-like eyes were no where close to striking blue.

"It's you? Why are you acting like the bugs, the- the mimicks?" Clara asked. The Doctor huffed and snapped his suspender again.

"Doctor, can I sit?" She asked.

He didn't want to say yes. He wanted to tell her everything was ok, and to go back to bed. He wanted to tell her that he was just watching the stars, and that he wasn't going to be there long. He wanted to make any excuse to make her go away with no questions.

She sat down.

The Doctor snapped. He rocked back and forth violently, hurting his neck. He grunted and whined, just making noise, and it felt so, so nice to make noise, any noise. Noise was so nice, in the quiet room.

There were hands pulling him back inside, and some part of his mind registered good intentions. He cooperated, and as soon as he was away from the edge he swatted them off his back, off his arms, off his body.

The doors shut, and the warmth from the sun went away. He didn't like it and stopped rocking abruptly, making his head spin. He pointed to the doors without looking up, and they opened again.

Warmth hit his face. He settled and felt the tension melt for a moment. It was unbearably silent, and he wanted to hum, but Clara beat him to it.

"The wheels on the bus go round and round..." She sang quietly. He recognized the tune immediately, and he started to hum along.

"Round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town." Clara sang quietly. She walked a few steps closer.

"The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish. Swish, swish, swish. Swish, swish, swish. The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish, all through the town."

The Doctor glanced up. Clara looked very sure of something, but he wasn't sure what. That was her clever face though. It was a nice face.

"I suppose it's raining wherever the bus is." Clara said quietly. She reached out a hand, and held it out at eye level. He grabbed on without thinking.

"Come on, lets walk. You sing along." Clara said. Initially he wanted to decline, but he looked up. She looked calm. She looked relatively safe. She looked warm.

The Doctor stood up, and gripped her hand more tightly, like a safety railing. He felt his whole body sway, and realized he was holding his breath. He did try to breathe, but he just couldn't, and he felt the panic coming back.

"The doors on the bus go open and shut, open and shut, open and shut. The doors on the bus go open and shut, all through the town."

He felt air re-enter his lungs, and took a few deep breaths. The familiar rumbling vibration in his throat told him he was humming along, but he didn't quite remember starting. Then they were moving.

"The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep, all through the town."

They had started to go through hallways now. He heard the tardis doors shut before they left, so he wasn't worried about that. No, he was worried about the drifters. They weren't locked in place, they'd float and hit the sun.

The Doctor quickly pulled his hand away from Claras and he stopped humming. He touched the wall as a wave of enease swept back over him. Then, he heard a bell, and he knew the tardis had righted herself on her own. Helpful girl.

"You want to hold on again?" Clara asked. She held out her hand, but his traitorous limb went to scratch at his ear instead. She patiently moved it away, ever so gently, and pulled his hand into her own.

"Come on. Your brain is holding on to the tune. Don't want to lose the concentration." Clara said. Yes, that seemed right. Something about attention span flashed in his mind but, ironically, he let that thought slip away as Clara sang.

"The mother on the bus says I love you, I love you, I love you. The father on the bus says love you too, all through the town."

Clara opened her bedroom door and led him in. She usually went home, but tonight she decided to stay, to "take a bath with no water bill." and he couldn't say that was a bad idea. He had considered bathing earlier, but definitely didn't feel up to it now.

As she led him to the bed, and gently pushed him down to sit, he realized he was feeling... Better. Not fantastic, but alright. Clara smiled at him as she knelt down in front of him.

"I'm going to take off your shoes, then you're going to lay down. Will you lay down for me?" She asked. He just nodded.

"Can you talk yet?" She asked, as she undid the laces. He thought for a minute, then tested it.

"You skipped some song." He said quietly. She smiled and patted his knee.

"I did. We got to my room, so I thought I'd shorten it. Do you want to do the rest?" Clara asked. He shook his head. He didn't feel any need to.

"One shoe down, other foot up." Clara said. He lifted his other foot and she untied the laces on that one too, then pulled both shoes off.

"Lay back, and move to one side." She instructed. He did as she said quickly, and she watched as he did.

"Do you mind if I lay down now?" She asked. He shook his head quickly. Why should he mind, it was her bed! Or at least, the bed he gave her here. He wasn't entirely sure where the bed came from.

"Doctor, you're spacing out again. Look at me." Clara said. He did, and she smiled.

"These are quite the episodes, huh? They must take a lot out of you." She said quietly. He looked away.

"No, no, no, look at me. You forget I'm a teacher." She said. He squinted in confusion.

"I taught special education for a year before my current class. I've seen far worse. Don't you worry, alright? You just close your eyes, and let yourself go to sleep." Clara said kindly.

"Can you sleep? I mean, your species. You do sleep sometimes, right?" She asked quickly.

"I can." The Doctor said quietly.

"Then do. Let your feet relax Doctor." She said quietly.

It took a moment, and some concentration, but he did, along with it he felt his legs get weak and give up their strength as well.

"Good, very good. Now your stomach. Let your muscles untighten. Up your whole body, chest, arms, shoulders. Good, really good." Clara said brightly. He smiled as he felt himself relaxing.

"Now the hardest part. Your brain has to relax. It's pretty easy to get your head to relax, compared to that. Your muscles can go limp, but the brain, it's wired not to stop. Think you can try?" She asked. He nodded and tried to relax.

"Can I pull up the covers?" She asked. He nodded again, and she did. They felt... Soft. Nice on his clothing covered skin. Not too much pressure. It was ok.

"You're relaxing, good job. Now shut your eyes Doctor. Go to sleep now." Clara whispered. He did.

* * *

His brain woke him up before he wanted it to, and he huffed as he sat up. Clara was nowhere to be found, but he figured she would be up and about. He could se from the digital clock on the wall that it was already some form of twelve fourteen. It made him wonder if it was set to her current life time or some sort of internal tardis time.

He stretched as he got up and unclipped the suspenders. It felt nice to have tbem off his shoulders now. He laced up his boots and stood, ready to leave, when the door opened.

"Morning, I just went to make coffee, wasn't sure when you'd be up. I figured I'd stay and finish this book before I have to go off to class. You'd have to drive, so I'm waitin' anyway. You alright?" Clara asked. The Doctor blinker in surprise before opening his mouth.

"You saw."

"I did." She smiled. She sipped her coffee, and he sat back down on the bed.

"You're not bothered?" He asked quietly.

"No, why would I be? I told you, I taught people like you before. I know all about it." Clara sad calmly.

He nodded and they sat in silence for a minute, just watching each other. Clara was trying not to laugh, but he wasn't sure why. He must have said so out loud, because she pointed to his head.

"There's a piece of hair, just stickin' up, right on the top of your head." She said. He stuck his hand up, and sure enough, there was a piece seperate from the rest, up in the air.

"You want me to brush it?" She asked. The Doctor simply nodded. He didn't feel like talking yet.

Clara left to go into her bathroom, and when she came back, she bad a brush in her hand. He slid forwards on the bed, and she got behind him.

"Ok, brushing now." Clara said.

He tapped on his leg when she started, not sure if he would like it, but the pleasent tingles on his scalp immediately changed his mind. It was different then trying to do it himself, and she was careful with the small tangles. He leaned back and she stiffled a laugh when he almlst fell on her.

"Suppose you like this then." Clara said.

"A lot. How did you know?" The Doctor asked.

"I didn't, but if it works, I guess I'll know next time." She said.

"What about the singing?" He asked. She stopped brushing momentarily, but started up again quickly.

"I had a student, Elizabeth. She was very bright, but she struggled with math. Something about the numbers just scrambled in her head. She loved it when I sang to her. She'd hum along, like you did." Clara said.

"You sound sad. What happened to her?" He asked.

"Well... Students can be cruel. They used to call her a baby. I sang her that song, the wheels on the bus, while she was having a fit. I forgot she didn't like the line about the baby. It was my fault, but the council didn't see it that way. She hit me, yelled and screamed, and got expelled very quickly after." Clara explained.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"I went to see her. I brought her favorite toy from the school, one of those bead counting things-"

"An abacus."

"Right, yes. I gave it to her, and her mom let me in to explain. After I told her what happened, she let me keep working with Elizabeth for a few months, under she graduated. I haven't seen her much since then." Clara finished.

"Did you leave out the baby part when you sang it to me for the same reason?" The Doctor asked.

"No, I really did just cut it off because we got to the room. If you want, next time I can add it, or pick a different song."

"Next time?"

Clara stopped brushing his hair, and turned on the bed so her legs dangled off. As much as he wanted her to keep brushing, he did the same.

"Next time you have a problem like last night, I do want to help you. Will uou let me help you, Doctor?" She asked. He thought for a moment, then nodded.

"I could teach you one of my songs. Translate it to modern english. Well, modern for you." He said.

"That sounds like a good idea." Clara smiled.

She offered up her hand, and he took it easily. The smile he gave back this time was genuine.

**Author's Note:**

> I was searching the autism tag, since I write autism fics for Supernatural, but I realized there were some for Doctor who. There are not however any with Nine, Ten, and/or Eleven. I might come back to this to write chapters for them, or might not, so I'll mark it as done for now.


End file.
